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"That guy’s daughter must be here somewhere and he is spying on her"
"Oh Tracey you didn’t tell me this is an over 28's club"
"Hey see that balding guy over there in the Navy jumper. Well my granddad had one of those jumpers when I was a kid"
"That loser must buy his clothes on eBay"
It wasn't a good start and it only got worse when "Twenty20 specialist" Brendan McGuiness turned up wearing some sort of black leather studded sweatband.
And they reckon I don’t have style!
The only positive about BJs appearance was that he brought his hot Mrs with him. The expression, "playing well above par" was invented for this relationship. Maybe my liking for Elle is that she has an uncanny resemblance to ‘Adult film star, "Veronica Zemanova". Do yourself a favor and Google Zemanova (not at work).
I had the following drunken conversation with Elle Keating at about 1am.
EK: Hi Schlitz, love the Cardi!
NS: Hi BJ’s hot Mrs, Do you really love the Cardi or are you taking the piss
EK: No really it suits you.
NS: Suits me?
EK: Yeah, for a guy your age I mean.
NS: I see.
EK: Do you like BJs hair tonight?
NS: It looks like a Lego man hair. What is going on?
EK: I ironed it.
NS: Excuse me it is a bit loud in here; I thought you said you ironed it!
EK: I did, with a clothes iron. It makes it look shiny and keeps it flat and in place all night!
NS: I see. We don’t need to talk anymore. You have just made my night and it can’t get any better.
EK: When is BJ going to make to ‘Schlitt Lips’
NS: Very soon BJs Hot Mrs, Very soon.
Schlit Lips page <click here> | 
