- don’t normally get much coverage in the media, but things have changed for the better lately. The club has featured on Channel 9 news, SEN, ABC, and in the Herald Sun and The Age.  We even managed to get a paragraph in our local rag, The Stonington Leader.  This is normally difficult with their pages usually being filled with articles on Guinea Pig clubs looking for new clubrooms and local artists making masterpieces out of recycled garbage (see Sept 6^th edition).  Let’s just say that Sport isn’t really a high priority in an area full of bong smoking students and latte drinking figjams.

Matthew Harrison

Because of this our committee made it a priority in the off season to recruit a young man with the looks and personality to make us more appealing to the younger and more fashion conscious consumer in the area……especially the ladies. Unfortunately none of these types were out there and we could only recruit a farm boy from Geelong who looks like he hasn’t had a hair cut since he failed Year 10 Maffs. Introducing young opening batting sensation, Matthew Harrison.

Schlitt Lips: “G’day Harro, how are you settling into life in the big city”
Matthew Harrison: Good

Lips: Are you enjoying living in South Yarra, close the Chapel Street?
MH: Yep

Lips: That’s good to hear mate, have you had any interesting moments in Melbourne since you have been up here.
MH: Trams

Lips: How is Bushranger training going?
MH: Good

Lips: Have you done any Media Training with the State Squad?
MH: Yep

Lips: Did you fall asleep in that session! I need more in depth answers mate. You are new the club and have been touted as the next Matthew Elliot. The readers want to know all about you.
MH: Ok.

Lips: Good. Can you tell us a bit about yourself. What are your hobbies?
MH: Cricket.

Lips: Gees mate, not cricket, something that we don’t know about you.
MH: Ahh………Not much to say really.

Lips: You don’t say. Getting an interesting answer out of you is as scarce as hen’s teeth.
MH: Hens don’t have teeth. Not at Dads farm anyway.

Lips: It’s an expression mate. Like, “A country mile”
MH: We don’t have miles in Gee long either, we’ve got kilometers.

Lips: I know mate. I know. Some of the Prahran boys reckon you look a bit like Matthew Hoggard. What do you think?
MH: Nah, not really.

Lips: We might wrap it up there Harro. Good luck for the season and I hope you settle into life in the big smoke ok.
MH: Thanks Neil, I hope I can acclimatize to the contrasting form of domestic habitation here in the hectic metropolis that is Melbourne. Obviously the metamorphosis in my recreational pursuits and occupation will be arduous and at times, problematic . I envisage with careful forethought that I can effectuate exemplary results in both aspects of my existence. Thank you for conversing with me today and I anticipate we can have an encore exchange of words expeditiously.

Schlit Lips page <click here>